When a couple who have children separate or decide to get a divorce sometimes the notion of what is best for the children may get lost in the high emotion of the situation. Family lawyers usually believe that, although it may be difficult to achieve, the presentation of a 'united front' to the children can potentially mitigate much of the harm that squabbling parents may inflict.

By reassuring children that the divorce or separation is not their fault and that the opportunity to spend time with both parents will be forthcoming no matter what, it is hoped that children will take the initial news of their parents' split with less emotional damage.

English and Welsh family law ultimately supports divorcing or separating parents who want to sort out arrangements for their children out of court, and widely accessible mediation and conciliation services for parents who are splitting up have been introduced to minimise court intervention when negotiations for children arrangements become acrimonious or complex.

The concepts of legally enforced child 'custody' and 'access' were done away with through the introduction of the Children Act in 1991 (although the term 'seeking custody' or 'having access' may still be used in dramas and occasionally in the press) and replaced with residence and contact orders to decide where a child will live, and where and when a child will spend time with each parent, respectively.

In cases where deciding such issues as residency and contact prove too difficult or intractable for the parents, and court proceedings appear to be the only way forward, many family law courts will refer the case to a Cafcass Officer (children and family court advisory support service) so that he or she may aid conciliation between the family to try to resolve the dispute without the need for court appearances.

Where the children are of an appropriate age the Cafcass officer is likely to arrange a meeting with them to take note of their feelings about the matter of residency and contact, and, depending on the maturity of the child, their wishes and requests should be presented to the court if the case ultimately goes to a hearing.

If the case goes to court there are a number of orders the family law judges can make:

• A residence order;
   
• A contact order – shared residence orders may be granted which recognise the equal parenting rights of both the mother and father;
   
• A prohibited steps order – which prevents a parent from carrying out an action, for example removing the child from the country, and;
   
• A specific issues order – which deals with aspects such as deciding upon the education of the child, religion and medical treatment, for instance.

Ideally, after divorce or separation, decisions relating to the upbringing of any children should be made jointly by both parents, and, except for a very limited number of cases where the father was not married to the mother and not named on the birth certificate, both parents will retain their parental responsibility for the children after a split.

Where a father does not have parental responsibility, he can seek to enter into a parental responsibility agreement with the mother.

Healys' family lawyers are here to help

The abolishment of 'custody' orders has hopefully created a far less divisive system for children arrangements which no longer appears to single out one parent as the winner of the child or children. However, decisions regarding children are always emotive and the advice of an experienced family solicitor is often necessary and, ultimately, reassuring.

The highly experienced divorce and family law lawyers at Healys in London and Brighton are part of a full service law firm and, therefore, have the benefit of being able to draw on the considerable skills and expertise of our colleagues in other departments on complex issues arising out of family breakdown. This ensures that we can provide you with full and comprehensive advice on all aspects of the law relating to children.

If you wish to discuss any aspect of your divorce or separation, particularly with reference to financial settlement or arrangements for children, please call Catherine Taylor on 01273 669 124 or e-mail her on catherine.taylor@healys.com